I have been thinking all day, after the court decision, about three men: William S. Burroughs, Michael Shepard, and an anonymous cowboy from here in the Texas borderlands. I have always like Burroughs, collected signed firsts of his novels and thought pretty hard about his writing. His first novel, "Queer", was written in 1949, the year I was born, and not published until, if I remember, the late 70s. I would say that that book was supressed- he couldn't get it published. I'm not a critic or a great literary analyst, but I ofter noticed the themes in his writing- outlaws being hunted, fugitives in hiding. I sure wish he could be here to see this day. When young Matthew Shepard was killed, I was in shock. It seemed to be beyond murder and a sign of collapse of some kind.I guess it was. He was, from what I've read, a kind person and was chosen because for death because of that perceived weakness. That week was when I started to pay attention to GLBT issues in the news. It's when I decided that persecution of Gays was unacceptable in word or deed. Just a personal thing for me. The third man I have been thinking about today is just an ordinary Texas guy, land owner in the desert here, sometime cowboy. One day I was sitting in the coffee shop and he pulled in, with traveling gear packed into the bed of his truck. "Where you off to?" "Well I am off to Colorado for a visit". I asked who he was seeing and he became very somber. He said he was going to try to visit his estranged daughter up there. 'She's a Lesbian", he said. I nodded my head and he went on. "We ain't spoke for years she won't talk to me". I dsaid something about family life being hard, and he said, "It's more than that. I'll tell you something. I used to live over in east Texas, town with a big army base. We was wild kids, drinkin and all. Well... One of the thigs we used to do, just runnin the roads and being wild, was go to these certain bars and bait queers. That's what we called it then. We'd get them to come out to our car and beat 'em up, take their money. We was mean, hurt them bad sometimes, laugh all the way back home. Well....one a my ol' runnin buddies let this story slip out to my daughter. She said, 'I'll never speak to you again' and I ain't seen her since." At this point the guy was almost crying. "I'd do anything to get her back. I don't know what I'll do". After I heard this I thought more about Matthew Shepard, and what it would be like to live in fear. So today those three men came to mind. Two dead, and I think I heard that the third one did reconcile with his kid. He moved up there to Colorado, I think to be close to her. Quite a day in political history, and in our social history, but also in an unwritten history that exists in memory and in the hearts of the people. A lot to think about, this arc of human progress.
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